Steve Urkel: I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Wha? I wanna read it to my mom. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Third, if you touch me at any time, the "non-date" is over. She actually said, "Human Being". Carl: [in an Urkel like voice and gives Stefan some money] Here takes some casher rooney and fix it sooney. Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows! It helps to determine how much help you need. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Your grandma is gonna fight for your right to party. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. [Grabs and kisses her. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. It's either a number or a letter! Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Laura: Steve, you like this kind of music? Steve Urkel: From my stay-away fund. You understand? Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. As played by Jaleel White, the ultra-nerdy teenager with his whiney voice, awkward walk, pants rolled up high, and apprehensive catchphrase "Did I do. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. What's up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Oh, good. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. We're starved. People just love juicy gossip! Harriette Winslow: [while trying to calm an apprehensive Rachel about leaving Richie overnight with the babysitter for the first time] Rachel, I know it's hard leaving your baby for the first time, but after that it gets a lot easier. I can see my dad! Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. Ha ha! Doo da doo da. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Carl Otis Winslow: What did she have to say? Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Eddie: I'm sorry, Steve. My doctor slapped the wrong end. Carl: Typical. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Steve Urkel: I can't! "Family Matters Quotes." I won't be able to take you to the prom. I feel stupid! Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. [Notices Maxine & Laura left the living room] Well, I thought it was a good story. Why, because of you, he's swapping recipes with Wolfgang Puck. Can you imagine that? Harriette: Don't even think like that. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, now Harriette, that's a bit harsh. Steve Urkel: King me. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Carl: I can't tell him I don't remember him! And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. Harriette Winslow: Why? Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? They just love juicy gossip. Trying to cover it up only make things worse. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Do these guys have game? Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Carl Otis Winslow: Yes and that's not all. "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, well. Steve Urkel. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Harriette Winslow: [Takes an envelope from Carl] 'Lose Weight, Feel Great at Chicago's Premiere Health Spa, Hip Whippers'. When's the last time you slept? Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. Harriette Winslow: I know. Laura: Steve, did you eat that moldy cheese? Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I prefer to call it sharing. Waldo: I got close once. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! This isn't right Weasel. No phones. For that matter why isn't everybody? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Can it be a 976 number? I'm on duty? This has never happened before. You're always sorry. Eddo. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! Me and Laura went ice skating together. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Stop the music! No Traffic. The black kids won't talk to the white kids, people are calling each other names, taking sides! Your father waited at the Box Office for an hour. Money has germs on it. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Could you write that 'A' down on a piece of paper? Why would anybody want to kill her? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Uh, uh isn't this the Zorro audition? SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Colonel Dirk Urkel! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Maybe a better word is Loud. Urkel pronouns are the best. And from that day on, EVERYBODY could use that library. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Steve Urkel: Hey, I was following Eddie's instructions. "Tomorrow Dad!" Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. And if you call me names, do I not eat? I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. Harriette Winslow: Mr. Niedermeyer, the only thing that's gonna go by is you. You are under arrest! Eddie: I meant, I haven't seen her today. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! 4 Mar. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. What do you have to say for yourselves? Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. [Steve goes to answer the door] I'm going to consummate, I'm going to consummate. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. Five hundred on the line. Steve Urkel: Why, to make everyone think that the woman I love actually loves me back? I want more Punch! Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Steve Urkel: Now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your number one reject? [to Steve] I'm wearing you DOWN, baby! Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. One Now, let's read it! When is that party supposed to be. [finds a note hanging on the door] Oh my God. Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. It is not empty at all. That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Steve Urkel: [Hanging on a ledge] I've fallen and I can't get up! It's a cool chamber. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Boyd broke my glasses. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny Steve Urkel 36 Pins 11y N Collection by Nadia Hussein Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Funny Quotes Chemistry Humor Nerd Humor Funny Charts When You Cant Sleep Lol Bahaha Clean Humor I Love To Laugh True Stories How To Fall Asleep Funny Jokes All the TIME!!!! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. You're making me blush. I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. [poins to the part on Harriette's diary] Aha, it's over with me and Raoul. Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Laura: How long have we known each other? Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. Harriette Winslow: You can't blame them for walking, Eddie. Steve Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Steve Urkel: Well, the earth didn't exactly move for me either! No, you're not invited. Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. Carl: I am not. Anybody have more punch? I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Rachel Crawford: I'm what? Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. Harriette: At my table, you eat them. You can do it! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. Steve Urkel: [opens the back door] Surprise. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. Steve Urkel: Practice. Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Someday, I'll thank myself for this. My parents play this with me all the time! [walks into the bathroom]. You have the right to have an attorney present. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. I'm sorry, call you next week? Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. To rob and murder? Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. But I have feelings, too. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Stupid? Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah, bring me a slice. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: That's big talk coming from a guy in Italy. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Laura Lee Winslow: That you'll never go into outer space again. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Refresh my memory. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. I'm in this class. Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits! Quotes.net. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Edward, sure I got a moment. Harriette Winslow: You hit my husband again and you'll have to answer to me. Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [cracks a laugh but tries to stop] It's so sad. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. I can't live like this. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Laura: Doth thou love me? You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Carl Otis Winslow: I'm not finished yet. I'm getting dizzy. Weasel: Hey loosen up, Eduardo. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! 2023. Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? [does Steve's laugh and snort]. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. I'll be in all the videos. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. Laura, please. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Willie Fuffner: But he wasn't, so chill out ok. Laura Lee Winslow: You just don't get it, do you. Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Harriette Winslow: [Rachel carries on about how sad it is Aunt Clotilda died] She was 94 years old. Steve Urkel: Laura? Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. 12. r/Unexpected. Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. And we practiced for six minutes! Harriette Winslow: I am not! Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Would you like that? I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. I've decided to retire from the theatre arts department. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Does that about cover it? Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Laura: Just let me fall! Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? She imforms Maxine that Steve is safe and Rachel has just taken him home], Willie Fuffner: See officer, everything is fine. Stefan Urquelle. [Laura has stuffed her bra with Eddie's socks], Steve Urkel: [entering] Hi gang! Wow, are you wearing a bra? It meant a lot to me. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. [strikes a pose] Laura? More like The Repulsions. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. In fact, they finally introduced me to my grandparents. Because check this out buddy, you're alone. Mango? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? [laughs] Bye! Anywhere away from my Laura. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. They misspelled three words. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Waldo put today's date on the flyer. [Goes to feel his head]. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! STANDS4 LLC, 2023. And OOHHH, and him! Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! No! And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. I can't! But, I'd be willing to pay you. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. Urkel, the camera was on Eddie the whole time. I can't breathe! Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! I can almost see what you had for lunch! Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth!
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