That is not her fault. Susie is on birth control but they still discuss what names their eventual children will have. John Rohan April 9, 2012, 5:13 pm. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. Or shes financially and emotionally ready to have a baby. That is really fucked up. I think hes scum because 1.- he asked the other woman to have an abortion and 2.- now hes mad that she didnt. LOL. reader, lisa4mark+, writes (15 May 2008): A
Can I interject for a moment and note that CUSTODY isnt generally whats tied to support; PLACEMENT is. Now pay for the childs necessities in life. Im happy to have found a father in my father-in-law, who has really become the dad I never had in that he loves me, supports me, listens to me, and even spoils me, haha! BUT. Im pretty sure the guy is being called scum because of his shitty attitude towards the pregnancy and the unborn child. Now Im confused. As for what you do: I personally would ask him to ask the woman to get a paternity test. I think the LW and her ex would do better to break up for good. Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. April 9, 2012, 12:32 pm, Well to start theres this ridiculous bit of misogyny and what seems like lack of understanding of child support: one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met.. Maybe she doesnt to be with your boyfriend, perhaps she just wants him to be there for the baby as a father. April 9, 2012, 11:41 am. He had a FWB relationship with a girl and always used condoms. I would suggest that the man under discussion would not be sponge-worthy. April 9, 2012, 6:35 pm, Not highly infectious, huh? The point is, theres a baby on the way who needs a daddy. Is that fair to women? I think the key is that the choice to abort doesnt result in an innocent child that still has needs to be met. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt. And, you know, your well reasoned logic and stuff. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Hes not obligated to be there emotionally, especially if he made it clear to the woman that he did not want this baby in the first place. Its like the universe is all conspiring against us! You deserve more than you are getting but if you accept less you will get less! She isnt the one you should be taking issue with. bittergaymark Men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement. Pardon me, butare you fucking KIDDING me?! Babies come from the hospital. He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. I think Dan Savage an Santorum have some sexual tension though. all the time i thought so until 1 faithful day, i got pregnant. This is my question for you. FireStar April 9, 2012, 7:11 pm. What exactly would your perfect laws look like in regard to custody and child support anyway? Doesnt matter if it has a sign on it that says dont shake takes arms off if explodes!. She wants to live in a dorm with her friends and no way is she missing weeks of school to give birth. Im pretty surprised by some of the stances shes made on this thread and I do enjoy and almost always agree with her comments. door to door service. The waiter has no idea that she has a severe allergy to peanuts, so doesnt tell the kitchen to change gloves when preparing her meal. Hey, say what you want about the letter but dont diss my Twilight!!! Ill give you a hint it turns into a baby. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. Posted on June 29, 2022 in gabriela rose reagan. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. He was broken up with her at that time, and had no agreement that they would get together in the future. April 10, 2012, 6:34 pm. the thing is, he has a 4 yr old daughter. I cant see how anyone would be upset with a man who agrees with that statement and concludes that he has every right to walk away from the whole situation. Since there is no way to guarantee pregnancy wont occur aside from proof of sterility, this righteous DW anger would likely be aimed at any man who didnt end up wanting the child (no matter what precautions had been taken), likely by the same people whod turn red in the face about any story where a man was forcibly stopping someone from getting an abortion. 2. the guy is not worth you in a relationship. He didnt expect that to happen. I didnt see that it made sense for him to send a check for MY child when he never had even met her. Either way, it sounds like she and this douchenugget guy are made for each other. He didnt invest in your relationship. He can have an opinion about her but its absurd to be mad at her because they created a baby. We only have sex if were ready to be a father? The fact that you can find examples of a law being broken doesnt make the law just or valid. TOTALLY USING THAT. April 9, 2012, 5:29 pm. Coke didnt have to do anything wrong. Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? We got back together but he dragged her along through texts for a week until I found out. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. I have a feeling you are going to stay with this guy no matter what (since you would just diiiie without him). Addie Pray Men should not rely on women for their own birth control unless the two people in question are in a committed relationship. female
Having the right to do something OBVIOUSLY doesnt mean its always a good idea. It takes a man to be a father. .. but what if she did deceive him? But, are you willing to pay for his mistakes. But biology runs the show and grown adults know the game going in.
Both a man and a woman are needed to create a baby. Youre wondering if he will marry her. April 9, 2012, 4:39 pm. Kind of sounds like it was written by an extremely immature middle aged woman. Dude, thats seriously out of line. You know as well as I do that the law is gender biased in effect in not in letter. female
im not disagreeing with you. Steve Kellmeyer If her fiance adopted the child, then he is the legal father and she would go after him for Child Support. I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them. Women this means the pill or condom or whatever. Yeah, but theres a lot of harshness toward the LW as well. April 9, 2012, 3:57 pm. bittergaymark Thanks for noticing, though. April 11, 2012, 2:00 am, John Rohan It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. Its Gone Downhill. Pretty sure this: and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby is the browbeat part. I could understand that he would be shocked and unhappy, but who does that? She barely knows her new boyfriend, yet she's already pregnant with the guy's baby and is forced to plan a future with him. skyblossom However, its your choice whether or not to get back together with him. Some of the best advice my mom ever gave me way back in the day was Listen. Except I acknowledged that was guesswork on my part. When someone else makes a decision that massively affects my life for the worse and disregards my preferences, it makes me angry and frustrated. Its the law. iseeshiny I love him so I'm willing to accept the baby. But there is no ensuring that the child is cared for in an adoption. And be aware that nothing short of not having sex is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Jimmy and Susie are in love. February 6, 2017, 4:03 pm, Simalar to me.. we fell inlove from schol at 15 we kiss at 16 sex at 21 we separated for 5mths he saw another girl and she lie told him she was pregnant..she moved in his parents house..i said goodbye he came begging me ..he dont love her.tears tears .. the next month her period came her lie came in the openshe never left ..i have since moved on ..25yrs to dated he still beging me to come backi played a game with him recently ..i said i would leave my husband would u leave your wifeto be with mehe said yes yesdo u have money to buy a house for me like what u did for her.the silence was deafing.i hang up the phone.. playersmove on leave him alone, lets_be_honest Thats all I can really offer. React. Everyone I know, including myself, that is not ready to have a child uses a condom or doubles up on protection, or makes sure that the pill is taken on damn regular basis. Its that theyre more likely to be honest about not wearing them when something bad results. Hes obligated to financially support the baby, which he is willing to do. I see youre an ignorant homophobe too. And a grown adult man is well aware of this system when he chooses to have sex. Again, this was the perfect time to walk away, and end it with him. I just felt a huge blow of betrayal because I was waiting for him to talk to me again. him: I would prefer if you had an abortion. April 10, 2012, 7:00 pm, If you dont want to potentially end up with a kid with a woman you cant stand, dont have sex with her.. Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Because thats really not that old. The thought of a child waiting for him at home makes going away so much easier. As a child who was raised by my mother and saw neither hair nor hide of my biological father, who diligently paid child support, Ive turned out for the better. So he and the LW should break up for good. Women dont get off requiring men to do it. Calling the women here honey is pretty condescending, Steve. I dont feel like his decision to not be involved in his biological childs life makes him an immature asshole. You wouldnt need to administer it. But the woman needs to be prepared to accept his involvement as strictly financial. Dr. Sherry. 8. They wanted the child and now they want to whine about how hard it is? I agree with a lot of what you have been saying, but he clearly states he will be a deadbeat father to the child in question from what the LW states which is the main reason for his villification. I was dating my ex girlfriend for 7 months before she broke up with me. lets_be_honest And with that said, he should confirm the woman is indeed pregnant and get a paternity test when the child is born. He does have the right to change his mind about how involved hed like to be. bittergaymark So, then, women should always have to accept that theyre pregnant because they had sex and then have the child whether they want to or not? Because it doesnt work that way around here and everyone knows it. This woman might very well be lying. Because women are always unfairly saddled with the burden of child birth, we will always be the ones who make the choices about whats going on in our own bodies. But I believe theres a definite difference. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? The kid isnt a rapist, the mother is. When you two were engaged, he cheated and had a child by another woman. You are in a relationship where you are the one responsible for everything. pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. MOA, and wash your hands of the whole thing. Your logic is weird. But, the real reason you can't let go is because you feel bad that you've invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. Nope. It doesnt matter how nicely you do it. You cant bear life without each other yet hes untrappable? Seriously, this makes my blood boil. Pay[ing] for it is responsible, even if its not what the mother of the child, or potentially the child, may initially want. Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. Which brings me to my question for LW: You say your boyfriend is 40 years old, but how old are YOU? He has an obligation to any future sex partner to keep himself clean. Let him go. but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. Coke bottle explodes taking off your arm = coke pays. Everyone is pretty much in agreement there. Loved this guy, things were not working out, cos he was fucking around with other girls. SpaceySteph For what its worth, Im a married guy and a father. I think hes scum because hes furious with the girl he impregnated. Any 40 year old man thats in the habit of jumping into bed with a woman who claims shes on BC after knowing her for 2 min is so dirty, Id be afraid to touch him much less get back in a relationship with him. She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. Yea, it does sound even more ridiculous today. Youre fucking advocating that brilliantly fool-proof method?! John Rohan New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Thats true, but by the same token, wait a bit (a few days or at least a full conversation) to see if you can get along with someone on a basic level before jumping into bed with them. Wow..two mintueswhen did he realize he couldnt stand her before or after the two minutes? LW, your anger is misdirected. She may have been sweet and loving throughout the relationship, but when she stopped being her best self or caring about what you think, she became angry, vicious, or revengeful. unfortunately, ive seen more than one person take pills the wrong way (whether it be because they forget, dont take it at exactly the same time, dont pay attention to warnings about drug interactions, etc). At least with adopted children, they usually have one or two great parents who can explain, in a way that doesnt hurt them or damage their self-worth, why they were put up for adoption. I asked him why and never got a response back, ever. He delivered, at her request, one-half of a set of DNA blueprints. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. That is not a legally binding document and is unenforceable. Let him deal with the consequences of his own actions without relying on you to rescue him. This baby will need a dad, not just a check, and if he can walk away from this child he can walk away from you just as easily. I know plenty of women who are exemplary parents. Someone else has assumed it. Yes? All rights reserved. wendy, i love you for leaving the crazies to us! I get unsettled and frustrated whenever I see my ex girlfriend's photos on Facebook with her boyfriend and pictures of the ultrasound of their baby. Offers may be subject to change without notice. landygirl I have to take the stance that it is no ones responsibility but their own to make sure they dont get STDs. I doubt the conversation went like: Please have an abortion. He loves me and doesnt care about the mother but wants to be there for the child, but said he doesnt have to and wil wait for the DNA test.
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